We want equal rights, we fight for them, we tell anyone who will listen that we want and we demand equality. Our family is a family just as much as yours is.
As we are on this road to raising Gradie, I realize more and more often, that while we are the same as your family, two adults, with a toddler – a feisty, determined, stubborn and strong willed ‘little person’, and we’re just trying to figure out what the hell it is we’re doing from day to day. BUT……we need to realize, accept and embrace that there are differences in our families.
The glaring difference is that our family has two moms, we are a same sex family. With this comes lots of unique experiences for all encounter our family.
From the fast food lady who once asked Jeanna (while I was running after Gradie in the restaurant), “Oh, so you’re two moms, that’s cool, so did the dad just like give up his rights?”
To looking for a new school for Gradie and having the thought in the back of our heads, what if the teachers, administrators, or other parents, don’t agree with our lifestyle. This is on top of usual parent worries and concerns; wondering if we were choosing the right school for her, would she excel there, would it be a great fit for her, etc.
We’ve gone to story time at the local library; we were the only two mom family there, which is fine and honestly it isn’t unexpected. No one seemed to, openly, disapprove. However, when story time began, the story spoke about a mom and a dad. At the time Gradie didn’t say anything about it, but it was awkward as those around us sort of looked at us like; “Uh-oh, can we say the D word?”
The answer is YES! I am not asking you to rewrite every book ever written or redo other things that refer to a heterosexual family. Gradie is 2.5 and she know she has two moms, she also knows that some kids have a mom and a dad.
We’ve not sheltered Gradie from the world. We want the world to know her, to love her, and to accept her. With that comes a certain level of give and take and we are extremely fortunate to not have dealt with too much ‘ugliness’ towards our family structure.
Another reason we expose Gradie to as much as we possibly can is because without been exposed to families like ours how would others know how to ‘act’ around us. If you’ve never been exposed to a gay person, never mind a two mom family like ours, then how would you know what is appropriate.
As we see our family we are perfectly ‘normal’ but as others see our family we realize we are ‘different’. All we ask for is respect. As the saying goes; “Respect earns respect!!”
If you find this post while browsing about same sex families I hope you’ll take from it that while we strive to be included and accepted as we are, we also do realize we are different from what society deems as the ‘norm’. We embrace those differences and we go about our daily lives, just like you do. If you want to know more about our family just ask – I can’t speak for every same sex family, but I know that we are more than willing to talk about what makes us different AND what makes us just like you!!
Tarisa says
Beautifully put, Debbie!
Dar says
Beautifully written and a beautiful family at that! Love you guys!
Melissa Lawler says
I long for the day when we are the norm.
Bino says
You write so well Debs. You put it all down so matter of fact. I am so very proud of you and I love your great family.
Clo Nevaeh says
Very well written. You both make amazing parents. It doesn’t matter if you are both women, it’s the love and the connection that matters. You both do an amazing job raising Gradie and I give you my 100% respect and applaud you for your courage because it indeed isn’t easy.
Robin says
Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this post, I love being able to better understand how I can love others and be a better friend. You’re family is beautiful!
Kt BENTLEY says
Wonderfully, wonderful. Lots of diversity in this world, people need to open up to it… Proud of you 2 Moms!